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Re: FW: Draft Press Release for 802.17 formation



Mr. Takefman, others:

the request was for comments on the subject draft, so with that in mind
i notice some odd things about the style.  one paragraph reads, in part:

In Metropolitan and Wide Area Networks, there is massive deployment of
fiber optic rings.

i find that people frequently use the word "massive" when they really mean
to describe something that is "large" or "enormous" or "widespread" or
"far reaching".  this word is also frequently used in connection with a group
of people, as in "massive fear" or "massive interest".  but neither fear nor
interest has mass, and "of the group's mass" is not now a commonly
accepted definition of the word "massive" (though that can change).  in the
context of the press release, the word is misused.

also, the word "protocol" refers to a group of items.  it is thus a group
noun and does not take an "s" for the plural case.

i don't really intend to be the grammarian for RPRSG.  i simply offer this
as my observation.
--
J M Wincn
Atoga Systems, Inc.
jmw at atoga dot com
49026 Milmont Dr.
Fremont, CA 94538
Voice:    510-743-0220
Fax:        510-743-9710
Cell:        408-394-5283

-----Original Message-----
From:   Mike Takefman [SMTP:tak@xxxxxxxxx]
Sent:   Thursday, November 09, 2000 10:03 PM
To:     stds-802-rprsg@xxxxxxxx
Subject:        Draft Press Release for 802.17 formation

Please read the following draft that I wrote during the SEC
meeting. Comments and changes should be replied to on the
reflector. I suggest that people turn on changes and use
strikethrough so that changes are obvious.

I want to close this within a week so that I can forward
to the SEC so that they can vote and so that we can
get it to the IEEE staff for release after the NESCOM
meeting.

thanks,

mike